I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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