i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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