How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
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This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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