What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
