Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I am available for nakedness
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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