Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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