and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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