I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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