Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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