Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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