Moan for me like Helen Keller
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
