so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
