All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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