Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Randomize
