ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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