isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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