Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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