I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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