Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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