Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
