dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
