I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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