I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
