I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
