Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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