imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We need to get me chipped asap
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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