i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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