I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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