I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
