Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
