Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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