google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
