the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize