i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
