don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
