Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
