Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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