I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
