i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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