he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
