No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
