I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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