I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
