the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
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Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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