ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
