my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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