if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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