I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
