yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
