so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
