he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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