I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Even my vagina gasped.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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