she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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