I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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