i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
where does the pee come out of this thing
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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