Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
