Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize