Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize