Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Pappa wants mamma naked
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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